is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
