Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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