tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
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I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
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Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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