Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
