You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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