I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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