Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Randomize
