Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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