So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
