what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
