I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honey bunches of taint.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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