You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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