he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
