Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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