he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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