You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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