Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
