Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
do herpes really smell.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
