I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
MIDGETS
????
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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