He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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