I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
