I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!