Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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