I should be sponsored by Trojan
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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