she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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