WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
