Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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