U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
