i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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