Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
