Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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