Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
