soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
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fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
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I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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