After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
