I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
