Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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