Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?

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(904): View more from Florida

Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.

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(416): View more from Ontario

He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.

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(443): View more from Maryland

you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went

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(831): View more from California

I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE

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(248): View more from Michigan

Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.

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(415): View more from California

Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.

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(678): View more from Georgia

If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese

(862): View more from New Jersey

Surriously

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