some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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