he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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