Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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