Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
It's shark week go big or go home
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
