So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
