Your dad touched me again.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
