he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
