how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
