Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
