Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
