I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
