I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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