I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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