let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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