i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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