he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize