i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
