I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
