I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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