508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
