I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
No subtext here. People are naked.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
