he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
the day after is always just damage control
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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