Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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