went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
