she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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