Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize