I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
